she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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