just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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