I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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