I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
