She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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