Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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