I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
