I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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