btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
