I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
