Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
