Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
