Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
