i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
