he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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