Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
