My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
