i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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