she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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