stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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