It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
