My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
