JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
