She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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