Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Help. Why am I so naked?
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