i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
