foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
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