there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
