The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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