Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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