I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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