dude i'm inner monologue high
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
PANTIES FOUND
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
