you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
