do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
a search helicopter?!
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
