So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
