So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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