I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
