The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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