her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
