her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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