I will die if light touches me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
