I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
