I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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