God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
