i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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