hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
