Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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