Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
