Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
