nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
