oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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