I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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