I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
