do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
