I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
