I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
